Candid Camera
If someone isn't following me with a camera they should be. Today started out a bit grumbly, but my friend Troy snapped me out of it pretty quickly (Go Troy!) This afternoon I had a consult for a breast reduction...let the games begin!
I knew it would involve a lot of looking at me naked in a mirror and a purple marker. What fun! But I wasn't expecting the X rated game of Where's Waldo. You see, before you have the joy of being drawn on by the doctor you sit with a nurse, in this case Mary Lynn, who goes over the procedure and possible side effects, and you also look at before and after pictures of people who have had the work done. I have now seen more boobs than I ever thought I would...I think I've become desensitized. Anyhow, one of the pictures was of a rather large man who had a breast reduction and a tummy tuck, so it was a shot from neck to knees. As I looked at the pictured I realized there was something escaping his underwear. I say something because it was impossible to tell whether (to quote there's something about Mary) it was bean, frank or just a weird bit of skin.
You know me, I can't just let this go uncommented so I point to the area in question and ask the nurse about it. My did she turn red fast...and it was all silliness from that point on. We decided it was a testicle that they had been flashing it around for a few months now. Gee, what does it say about me that I'm the only one to notice?
So then the doctor comes in, usually a very straight faced man with a dry sense of humor. Not today! We were still giggling so we told him of our "find". He shook his head and wondered how he ended up in a Seinfeld episode. Through the course of the exam there were stripper jokes, fake boob jokes and questions about my parentage...too funny. Once the exam was over he left and the nurse set me up for some reference photos. So there I am, naked from the waist up, one breast covered in purple marker, and the door starts to open. With cat like reflexes Mary Lynn pounces on the door, but the person on the other side won't give up! Finally fingers snake around the edge of the door with a note between them. Doctor R came dangerously close to loosing some digits there. Happily there was no injury and we locked the door.
Then on my way back to work I see this older man get out of his car, take his shirt off, throw it in the back seat and start walking down the street. Damned if I know what the thought behind that move was.
See? I could so be a reality TV show!
I knew it would involve a lot of looking at me naked in a mirror and a purple marker. What fun! But I wasn't expecting the X rated game of Where's Waldo. You see, before you have the joy of being drawn on by the doctor you sit with a nurse, in this case Mary Lynn, who goes over the procedure and possible side effects, and you also look at before and after pictures of people who have had the work done. I have now seen more boobs than I ever thought I would...I think I've become desensitized. Anyhow, one of the pictures was of a rather large man who had a breast reduction and a tummy tuck, so it was a shot from neck to knees. As I looked at the pictured I realized there was something escaping his underwear. I say something because it was impossible to tell whether (to quote there's something about Mary) it was bean, frank or just a weird bit of skin.
You know me, I can't just let this go uncommented so I point to the area in question and ask the nurse about it. My did she turn red fast...and it was all silliness from that point on. We decided it was a testicle that they had been flashing it around for a few months now. Gee, what does it say about me that I'm the only one to notice?
So then the doctor comes in, usually a very straight faced man with a dry sense of humor. Not today! We were still giggling so we told him of our "find". He shook his head and wondered how he ended up in a Seinfeld episode. Through the course of the exam there were stripper jokes, fake boob jokes and questions about my parentage...too funny. Once the exam was over he left and the nurse set me up for some reference photos. So there I am, naked from the waist up, one breast covered in purple marker, and the door starts to open. With cat like reflexes Mary Lynn pounces on the door, but the person on the other side won't give up! Finally fingers snake around the edge of the door with a note between them. Doctor R came dangerously close to loosing some digits there. Happily there was no injury and we locked the door.
Then on my way back to work I see this older man get out of his car, take his shirt off, throw it in the back seat and start walking down the street. Damned if I know what the thought behind that move was.
See? I could so be a reality TV show!
posted by Liz @ 4:00 PM
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