Cartwheels

I'm starting to get very anxious about some tests that are being done tomorrow. Jill is showing up at my place in morning at 8 and coming with me, whether I like it or not. I'm glad she is, though I feel really silly worrying about these things. We all know I'm invincible right? Still, the mind does cartwheels when left to its own devices. Silly brain.

My what ifs of the moment:

What if it's cancer?
What if I don't treat it?
What if I do treat it?
What if it means surgery?

Then we careen into the worst case scenario:

If it is cancer, should I think about funeral arrangements?
I need to make a will!
Damn, should have upped my life insurance!
How will I take care of me?
How will my parents take it?
What about my critters?!

See, the brain goes into a tailspin when you try not to think about things. I know this is nothing, I know I'm getting worked up for no reason, I know I will feel very silly tomorrow afternoon for posting this. But knowing doesn't make the thoughts go away. Sigh.

Wish me luck...and Jill too, I'm probably going to drive her nuts!