Good Neighbor or Busy Body?
Sigh...sometimes it is hard to know what the right thing is...
This morning I saw my upstairs neighbor heading into our building as I was heading out. He was in a Navy uniform, so I guess that kind of explains the Texas plates on his truck. I've never really met my upstairs neighbors, but I seem to know a lot about them. In my building you can hear the people above and below you pretty well if they are being loud, but not the people on your floor.
The couple downstairs have a dog. One of them plays guitar and when they watch sports they get very involved. I could care less, it doesn't bother me. Lord knows I'm not the Second Floor Ninja or anything. I'm sure they hear me too. Upstairs is a different story though. I guess I started noticing them in November. That's when I first heard the fighting.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say he'd been drinking, as he started a rant with "This isn't just the alcohol talking..." and went on to say she never appreciates him, he doesn't know why he's stayed for 3 years, why they haven't gotten a divorce. Then he turned to the dog, "And you! I don't know why we keep you around! It certainly isn't for your bark!" Now as a neighbor I have to say I'm pro non-barking, but that's me.
At Thanksgiving I got to hear how he made all this effort and she ruined it...I'm not sure how. But just about every night the same yells are heard, prompting me to say "oh just get the damn divorce." I rarely hear her other than a sob or an apology. I've kinda gotten used to it.
When I got home last night they were at it again, but this time there was a lot of slamming. I always tell myself if I hear something hit the floor I'll make the call. Well I don't know what hit the floor, but it got my chandelier to shake and made my floor vibrate. I was still a little unsure, but I couldn't live with myself if someone was hurt. I went to my neighbor Karin for advice. She's a social worker so I figure she could tell me if I was over reacting. Remember I told you that we can't hear anything unless it's directly above or below us? Well, a decoration in her kitchen had fallen down when that crash came. I called 911 from her place.
The police came (3 or four of them actually) went upstairs and then came back down to talk to us. They said she was fine, alone studying and didn't seem upset. Now I felt foolish and apologized for calling. One officer stopped and told me never to apologize for calling and to do it again if I heard anything. I said good night to Karin and headed back into my place...where I could hear him yelling again (and the TV turned way up). So was I going insane?
I got Karin and had her come into my place to listen...she heard him too. Her reaction? "He fucking hid!" Sigh. So now I feel like I'm just a nosey neighbor, though that wasn't my intention. And as Karin says, at least the woman knows someone will call the cops, and so does he.
It shouldn't be so hard to look out for each other, you know? Now I'm going to hesitate if I hear things, and that isn't right. I'm also going to be a bit uneasy the next time I run into him. But I know I'd make the call again if I had it to do over, so I guess it was the right thing to do.
This morning I saw my upstairs neighbor heading into our building as I was heading out. He was in a Navy uniform, so I guess that kind of explains the Texas plates on his truck. I've never really met my upstairs neighbors, but I seem to know a lot about them. In my building you can hear the people above and below you pretty well if they are being loud, but not the people on your floor.
The couple downstairs have a dog. One of them plays guitar and when they watch sports they get very involved. I could care less, it doesn't bother me. Lord knows I'm not the Second Floor Ninja or anything. I'm sure they hear me too. Upstairs is a different story though. I guess I started noticing them in November. That's when I first heard the fighting.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say he'd been drinking, as he started a rant with "This isn't just the alcohol talking..." and went on to say she never appreciates him, he doesn't know why he's stayed for 3 years, why they haven't gotten a divorce. Then he turned to the dog, "And you! I don't know why we keep you around! It certainly isn't for your bark!" Now as a neighbor I have to say I'm pro non-barking, but that's me.
At Thanksgiving I got to hear how he made all this effort and she ruined it...I'm not sure how. But just about every night the same yells are heard, prompting me to say "oh just get the damn divorce." I rarely hear her other than a sob or an apology. I've kinda gotten used to it.
When I got home last night they were at it again, but this time there was a lot of slamming. I always tell myself if I hear something hit the floor I'll make the call. Well I don't know what hit the floor, but it got my chandelier to shake and made my floor vibrate. I was still a little unsure, but I couldn't live with myself if someone was hurt. I went to my neighbor Karin for advice. She's a social worker so I figure she could tell me if I was over reacting. Remember I told you that we can't hear anything unless it's directly above or below us? Well, a decoration in her kitchen had fallen down when that crash came. I called 911 from her place.
The police came (3 or four of them actually) went upstairs and then came back down to talk to us. They said she was fine, alone studying and didn't seem upset. Now I felt foolish and apologized for calling. One officer stopped and told me never to apologize for calling and to do it again if I heard anything. I said good night to Karin and headed back into my place...where I could hear him yelling again (and the TV turned way up). So was I going insane?
I got Karin and had her come into my place to listen...she heard him too. Her reaction? "He fucking hid!" Sigh. So now I feel like I'm just a nosey neighbor, though that wasn't my intention. And as Karin says, at least the woman knows someone will call the cops, and so does he.
It shouldn't be so hard to look out for each other, you know? Now I'm going to hesitate if I hear things, and that isn't right. I'm also going to be a bit uneasy the next time I run into him. But I know I'd make the call again if I had it to do over, so I guess it was the right thing to do.
posted by Liz @ 9:11 PM
2 Comments:
At 12:21 PM,
Monika Kruemmling said…
I think you did the right thing, 120%. if he hid, it was because he knew he could get in trouble, and if he knew that, it's because he's aware of his abusive behavior. do they know you called? because they could surely think it was any of the other neighbors. I'm glad you have a cool, social worker neighbor, and I know it's hard, but you might save that woman's life in the future. you know?
At 7:56 PM,
Anonymous said…
I'm with Monika. You did the right thing.
That poor woman. She needs help, but it seems as if she won't accept it. She could have ratted him out, but didn't.
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