Things Women Do...
First, a warning: This may be a rather graphic post...you've been warned.
In the continuing saga of trying to curtail nature's desire that I procreate, yesterday I went to Ye Olde Gynecologist and had an IUD implanted. A simple procedure from all I'd read and been told by various health professionals, and the best option for me at this time. No sweat then, yes? Just a 10 minute office visit and you are baby free for 5 years. Pretty neat.
Before the visit there were a few health insurance hoops, but after reviewing my history they were all about covering not only the cost of the device but the cost of the implantation as well. Very nice. I had to make the appointment at a specific time, so I called the office (after being on hold forever), gave them the window of dates they needed along with why I was coming in and the reference number of my file. In order to have it done this year I agreed to see a doctor other than my usual Dr. R. Shouldn't be a biggie, right?
So Monday rolls around, I've done a little more research and am thinking I'm not going to be too spunky after this little visit so I alter plans accordingly. I get to the office and wait a bit, I'm a little early, they're running a little behind...the norm. Then I'm taken back to an exam room where I joke with the nurse a bit, answer some questions and she tells me to unhook my bra, I can leave my top on but the bottoms need to come off. I'm so glad I learned from Jill to ask questions.
"Um, why am I unhooking my bra?" I ask
"for the breast exam" she says (***Frank has suggested alternate dialog here, "your not here for the breast fondling?"***)
"Why am I having a breast exam?" I inquire
"It's part of your annual" she tells me
"But I'm not here for my annual, just the IUD"
"Your having it checked?"
"No, having it put in"
There was a slight crease in her forehead, and she went to go find my IUD and have a chat with the scheduling desk. Then the doctor came in, nice guy, funny voice. We figured out why I was there, he told me there would be a bit of "discomfort" involved. I should have known it was going to be bad when I said it couldn't be worse than the biopsy and he said, "Well..." So he left and the nurse came back in. At this point I began to wonder if they were the same person.
She brings in this HUGE box, then tells me not to worry, the actual device was tiny. Oh goodie. I'm now starting to think I should have taken that Advil before I left work.
The doctor comes back in and my feet go in the stirrups. Wheee! Ladies, it starts out like your annual. I was lucky, they warmed the speculum. Then there is that glorious phrase, "You are going to feel a little cramping."
My butt! I've had cramps! That was no cramp! I cannot adequately explain the pain, but I will tell you that I thought a UTI was the worst pain I could have outside of child birth...WRONG! Oh so wrong...
So after poking at my cervix for what seemed like much too long they decided to dilate me. You see, had I had a child it would have been stretched out a bit, making this whole process a little easier. Of course, I have a small cervix to begin with (an exciting discovery from earlier in the year that brought us to this point) so it was going to be challenging anyhow.
I pride myself on having a high pain threshold...I still pushed back in the stirrups and hollered when they poked at me again. Then I was embarrassed and apologizing, as the doctor was apologizing. I'm thinking, perhaps I do not want this after all...and then finally it was over. I knew this because the pain subsided a bit and I heard metal hit the floor and a little curse.
The doc told me that it was a hard procedure but I did well, and left the room. The nurse stared after the closing door, said "Isn't that just like a man, make a mess and leave it for someone else to clean up." I asked if it was okay for me to take Tylenol when I got home, she was then very sweet and offered to sneak me a few before I left. She cleaned up the mess I could not see, because I wasn't sitting up just then, and told me I could relax as long as I wanted, the room was mine. She headed out and I laid there, now just feeling crampy and bloated. Soon she was back with pills and water, then off again. I sat up to take a drink...and it looked like someone had been murdered at my feet.
I'm a bleeder, so I was expecting some blood, but this was a bit much even for me. Thanking my lucky stars I waited to do this until after I was well off blood thinners, I clean myself up, got dressed, then gathered up messy things and put them into the bio-hazard bin. The nurse came back, shaking her head and telling me I didn't have to do that. As I looked down I noticed a bloody foot print and asked if that was my blood. I'm glad I did...it seems the reason things looked as macabre as they did was because that metal clanging noise I heard was the the speculum hitting the floor, making a mess, then the doc stepped in it spreading the fun. So it wasn't as bad as it looked.
On my way out I made my 6 week check up appointment, where the scheduler was a little confused over my paperwork. We got that straightened out and she asked which doctor I'd like to see. Of course I said Dr. R, but I'd take who was available. Now I noticed my nurse beckoning to the girl from around the corner. She excused herself and came back with Dr.R, who told me I was a trooper then fit me into his morning schedule. Not that the doc who saw me was bad by any stretch, but Dr. R's been with me through biopsies and blood clots so there's a comfort factor there.
After all that I got chocolate and curled up in the fetal position. Frank was back from the shore, so he came over and regaled me with wedding stories and we snuggled on the couch over dinner (no I did not cook!). It worked out nicely... and today is a MUCH better day, but I'm not making any sudden movements.
In the continuing saga of trying to curtail nature's desire that I procreate, yesterday I went to Ye Olde Gynecologist and had an IUD implanted. A simple procedure from all I'd read and been told by various health professionals, and the best option for me at this time. No sweat then, yes? Just a 10 minute office visit and you are baby free for 5 years. Pretty neat.
Before the visit there were a few health insurance hoops, but after reviewing my history they were all about covering not only the cost of the device but the cost of the implantation as well. Very nice. I had to make the appointment at a specific time, so I called the office (after being on hold forever), gave them the window of dates they needed along with why I was coming in and the reference number of my file. In order to have it done this year I agreed to see a doctor other than my usual Dr. R. Shouldn't be a biggie, right?
So Monday rolls around, I've done a little more research and am thinking I'm not going to be too spunky after this little visit so I alter plans accordingly. I get to the office and wait a bit, I'm a little early, they're running a little behind...the norm. Then I'm taken back to an exam room where I joke with the nurse a bit, answer some questions and she tells me to unhook my bra, I can leave my top on but the bottoms need to come off. I'm so glad I learned from Jill to ask questions.
"Um, why am I unhooking my bra?" I ask
"for the breast exam" she says (***Frank has suggested alternate dialog here, "your not here for the breast fondling?"***)
"Why am I having a breast exam?" I inquire
"It's part of your annual" she tells me
"But I'm not here for my annual, just the IUD"
"Your having it checked?"
"No, having it put in"
There was a slight crease in her forehead, and she went to go find my IUD and have a chat with the scheduling desk. Then the doctor came in, nice guy, funny voice. We figured out why I was there, he told me there would be a bit of "discomfort" involved. I should have known it was going to be bad when I said it couldn't be worse than the biopsy and he said, "Well..." So he left and the nurse came back in. At this point I began to wonder if they were the same person.
She brings in this HUGE box, then tells me not to worry, the actual device was tiny. Oh goodie. I'm now starting to think I should have taken that Advil before I left work.
The doctor comes back in and my feet go in the stirrups. Wheee! Ladies, it starts out like your annual. I was lucky, they warmed the speculum. Then there is that glorious phrase, "You are going to feel a little cramping."
My butt! I've had cramps! That was no cramp! I cannot adequately explain the pain, but I will tell you that I thought a UTI was the worst pain I could have outside of child birth...WRONG! Oh so wrong...
So after poking at my cervix for what seemed like much too long they decided to dilate me. You see, had I had a child it would have been stretched out a bit, making this whole process a little easier. Of course, I have a small cervix to begin with (an exciting discovery from earlier in the year that brought us to this point) so it was going to be challenging anyhow.
I pride myself on having a high pain threshold...I still pushed back in the stirrups and hollered when they poked at me again. Then I was embarrassed and apologizing, as the doctor was apologizing. I'm thinking, perhaps I do not want this after all...and then finally it was over. I knew this because the pain subsided a bit and I heard metal hit the floor and a little curse.
The doc told me that it was a hard procedure but I did well, and left the room. The nurse stared after the closing door, said "Isn't that just like a man, make a mess and leave it for someone else to clean up." I asked if it was okay for me to take Tylenol when I got home, she was then very sweet and offered to sneak me a few before I left. She cleaned up the mess I could not see, because I wasn't sitting up just then, and told me I could relax as long as I wanted, the room was mine. She headed out and I laid there, now just feeling crampy and bloated. Soon she was back with pills and water, then off again. I sat up to take a drink...and it looked like someone had been murdered at my feet.
I'm a bleeder, so I was expecting some blood, but this was a bit much even for me. Thanking my lucky stars I waited to do this until after I was well off blood thinners, I clean myself up, got dressed, then gathered up messy things and put them into the bio-hazard bin. The nurse came back, shaking her head and telling me I didn't have to do that. As I looked down I noticed a bloody foot print and asked if that was my blood. I'm glad I did...it seems the reason things looked as macabre as they did was because that metal clanging noise I heard was the the speculum hitting the floor, making a mess, then the doc stepped in it spreading the fun. So it wasn't as bad as it looked.
On my way out I made my 6 week check up appointment, where the scheduler was a little confused over my paperwork. We got that straightened out and she asked which doctor I'd like to see. Of course I said Dr. R, but I'd take who was available. Now I noticed my nurse beckoning to the girl from around the corner. She excused herself and came back with Dr.R, who told me I was a trooper then fit me into his morning schedule. Not that the doc who saw me was bad by any stretch, but Dr. R's been with me through biopsies and blood clots so there's a comfort factor there.
After all that I got chocolate and curled up in the fetal position. Frank was back from the shore, so he came over and regaled me with wedding stories and we snuggled on the couch over dinner (no I did not cook!). It worked out nicely... and today is a MUCH better day, but I'm not making any sudden movements.
posted by Liz @ 10:52 AM
1 Comments:
At 3:22 PM,
Monika Kruemmling said…
yeah, it's amazing how much blood can come out of us when you poke us in the "right" place. I had a nonmedical incident which a similar outcome a few years ago which left me woozy not from the sight of blood, but I think the actual loss of it. I'm glad you're feeling better now!!!!
Post a Comment
<< Home