Subtlety

Sometimes the universe, in its infinite wisdom, decides to send you subtle messages...last night was not one of those "subtle" nights.

I've been going at a semi-mad pace for the last few days, good reasons all around I am happy to report. Anyhow, last night I decided that I would launch an assault on Target to get Zoe Barbie clothes for Christmas and run a few other errands. I'm desperately trying to avoid toy stores after this Friday.

So I dropped a prescription off at Giant and wandered to the Michaels while they filled it. That's when my eye got that familiar swirly feeling that foretold a nasty migraine. But I marched on. On to Target and Barbie Hell.

What happened to Barbie's fashion sense? I remember dressing up Peaches and Cream Barbie in some of the prettiest gowns and coolest outfits when I was younger. She had jeans, shorts, sweaters, skirts, dresses, coats...and oh the shoes! She had outfits for ice skating, roller skating, horseback riding, evening, picnic...you name it. This new stuff isn't even hoochie wear or ghetto fabulous...it's just ugly. Sad really.

Anyhow, I managed to find a few interesting things then made my way to housewares in search of a bathroom scale. I stopped in my tracks when I found myself in front of the Hello Kitty Alter of Kitchen Appliances:

Witness the Hello Kitty waffle maker, toaster, toaster oven, popcorn popper and much more.

In my stupor of pink cuteness I turned to head up the isle and continue my search for a scale when I suddenly found myself sprawled on the tile. Knee screaming, the skin on the heel of my hand polished to a mirror finish by skidding across the floor, and yes, my head hurt. Was it a seizure? No. Did I turn an ankle? No. It was one of those *#@*% plastic things that they use to keep the prices on the shelves. I'd slipped on it.

I then did the human thing when we bruise not only our bodies but our pride as well: I looked to see if anyone witnessed this graceful display. I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that several people saw but not only weren't laughing or offering aid, they didn't even bother to pause their cell phone conversations to look concerned. So no laughter, but perhaps a comment on society. Thank God it wasn't Black Friday, I could have been trampled!

So with a throbbing head, arm, hand and knee I found the scale and limped to the register. Once in the car I gave myself a pep talk, got to Giant to get my prescription and drove home.

Now, when this grand plan was hatched that morning I was going to come home, do some cleaning, maybe make a pie and work on some sewing. As I gingerly hauled myself up the stairs that evening I decided no, I was going to drug myself and lay on the couch until I felt like I could keep food down.

I sat down, took off my shoes put away a few things that required refrigeration and then headed back to the living room...where I stepped on something that caused a stabbing pain in my foot. It seems I tracked glass into the house and it was now embedded in my foot which was bleeding onto the carpet.

Sigh.

I relocated the shard to the trash and in a fit of annoyance, exhaustion and defeat wrapped a scrap of cloth around the wound (remember that sewing project?).

Eventually the headache subsided, I got dinner and even managed to get a few things accomplished. Then I went to bed.

I was relating my tale of absurdity to Connie when she pointed out the one thing that made it all make sense...It was Tuesday.

My only other theory is that the gods of commerce didn't want me to miss out on the Black Friday blood letting.

But I survived!

Have a great holiday all!