On Understanding
This goes hand in hand with being too nice, but that is where my brain is today. Between the events of the weekend and something a friend just passed on to me I’ve been thinking a lot about understanding, insight and weakness.
Last weekend I met a friend of Connie’s. He was in a mood of sorts, so I got the over all impression he was a wise-ass. No problem for me, I’m one too. We bantered back and forth a bit, called BS a few times and I enjoyed having him along. He, however, felt the need to apologize for his attitude and I told Connie to make sure he knew he didn’t make a bad impression. His impression of me was that I must have been dumped on a lot in life because I had good insights…
But we don’t grow through adversity alone, do we? True, we need to have obstacles to overcome to gain understanding of other’s position, but don’t we also need examples of kindness? If I didn’t have the sweet stories, how would I know to persevere past the bad times? And would they be as sweet? No, I think insight comes from all we experience in life, the wins, loses and the stalemates. But it was a nice compliment all the same.
I’ve often been accused of being overly understanding. I’m well aware of this aspect of my character, and while I know it can get me hurt a lot, I don’t really want to change it. I don’t even know if I could. I’ve found I can excuse most anything, make a logical argument for actions. But does wanting to give someone the benefit of the doubt make me weak or foolish?
How terrible to make accusations without getting the whole story? It’s easy to lash out when we get hurt, but what harm does taking a moment to ask what happened do? Yes, I’ve been bitten in the butt by that one, but it also kept me from ending a relationship over what turned out to be a spiteful rumor. It’s a double edged sword, and I’d rather get sliced a few times then write off someone who could prove to be a good friend. Sort of like it’s better to let 100 guilty men go free than to convict one innocent person. At least that’s how I see it.
I know I’ll screw up again one of these days and I just hope the person I hurt has the kindness to let me explain. So I believe in second chances, and mitigating circumstances…but that doesn’t mean I’m naïve. I know BS when I hear it.
All this springs from my weekend…the jury’s still out on that one, but that's another story…
Last weekend I met a friend of Connie’s. He was in a mood of sorts, so I got the over all impression he was a wise-ass. No problem for me, I’m one too. We bantered back and forth a bit, called BS a few times and I enjoyed having him along. He, however, felt the need to apologize for his attitude and I told Connie to make sure he knew he didn’t make a bad impression. His impression of me was that I must have been dumped on a lot in life because I had good insights…
But we don’t grow through adversity alone, do we? True, we need to have obstacles to overcome to gain understanding of other’s position, but don’t we also need examples of kindness? If I didn’t have the sweet stories, how would I know to persevere past the bad times? And would they be as sweet? No, I think insight comes from all we experience in life, the wins, loses and the stalemates. But it was a nice compliment all the same.
I’ve often been accused of being overly understanding. I’m well aware of this aspect of my character, and while I know it can get me hurt a lot, I don’t really want to change it. I don’t even know if I could. I’ve found I can excuse most anything, make a logical argument for actions. But does wanting to give someone the benefit of the doubt make me weak or foolish?
How terrible to make accusations without getting the whole story? It’s easy to lash out when we get hurt, but what harm does taking a moment to ask what happened do? Yes, I’ve been bitten in the butt by that one, but it also kept me from ending a relationship over what turned out to be a spiteful rumor. It’s a double edged sword, and I’d rather get sliced a few times then write off someone who could prove to be a good friend. Sort of like it’s better to let 100 guilty men go free than to convict one innocent person. At least that’s how I see it.
I know I’ll screw up again one of these days and I just hope the person I hurt has the kindness to let me explain. So I believe in second chances, and mitigating circumstances…but that doesn’t mean I’m naïve. I know BS when I hear it.
All this springs from my weekend…the jury’s still out on that one, but that's another story…
posted by Liz @ 11:41 AM
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