Ignorance is Bliss

Ignorance is bliss.  A casual phrase I’ve used often.  I’ve always considered it on a personal level, as in something I don’t know not hurting me.  Sure it will bite me in the butt down the road, but for the moment I’m happier not knowing.  We are happier not knowing the boyfriend cheats, but in the long view it is information we need.  Things like that.  

Today I’m seeing the phrase from another perspective.  Today I have information others don’t, and it is weighing heavily on me.  I cannot wait until it is public knowledge and I no longer have to sit here and smile, pretending I too have their happy ignorance.  Part of me feels guilty for having knowledge they don’t, even if it is my job.  It is some consolation that my manager too is weighted with this, as we both watch the clock.

The positive is that the news affects only a few, but they are still people I have worked with for years.  It is still hard.  And I wish I did not know.  I wish I did not have to face them and pretend…