Adult Education

Just a little rant for a Friday morning. I'm consistently saddened by what kids don't learn, and it's usually things I feel their parent's should be responsible for, but today I want to talk about things adults should know. I readily admit this is very picky of me, but it's been a pretty constant experience.

At the end of my college education I took a class that helped me get my resume and portfolio ready. It also went over interview skills and appropriate dress. Pretty useful, yes? And it was a required class. But one of the most useful things it went over was how to shake hands: Not to firm, not weak. We practiced this.

Now I am in the "real world" and have business meetings with professionals. They shake hands more than I do probably. They are usually older than I am and college educated. This would seem to indicate that they would have the hand shake down. No. I can't tell you the last time someone shook my hand and it wasn't like grasping a cold piece of pasta. Men, women, big, small it doesn't matter, they've all had the wimpiest hand shakes.

You know what I've learned? My professor was right: A hand shake does make a big impression. My first thought is, "ugh, does this mean this person is this wishy-washy?" It really does convey a bad impression that you then have to work to over come. It's happened so often that I have to remind myself that a crappy shake doesn't mean a weak personality and hopefully the conversation will reveal an intelligent, well thought person. It doesn't always, but hope springs eternal.

End of rant...have a happy Friday!

And the Doctor Says...

Yesterday was my 2 week visit with the surgeon that did my back. It seems my body has decided to keep the stitches. They should just slip out once the knot is removed, but there was no slipping, just painful tugging, so the nurse decided to leave them be. They will work their way out eventually. It looks just lovely. See?



Good thing I never got that stripper tatoo!








But other than that the doc was happy with my progress and thinks I'll probably get feeling back in my toes eventually. I start physical therapy next week...right after Christmas. Sadly I don't feel confident enough to fly, so I won't be seeing my parents for the holiday. That and I have a cold which they don't need. With a little luck I'll be able to change my tickets for spring. Cross your fingers.

Christmas Party Review

So yesterday was my Christmas party, graciously housed by Ralph and Lydia. Connie and I arrived early to help set up, Don followed soon after with a mystery dessert. Don, who hadn't seen me since before surgery, got a chuckle out of watching me hobble around. It seems I have a certain celebrity among his friends as the only person they know who ended up with a limp from a cold. Go figure.

Introductions were made and we fussed with the food as Jill, Dan, Julia and Charlotte arrived with salad and ziti. Ralph and Sean watched the Eagles game and the rest of us played a round of Chez Geek. I actually won...but only because everyone else focused on Connie after her early lead. Lydia entertained the Smooshie until Jack and Zoe got back from the Nutcracker.

Greg and Aly soon arrived with Julia Rose, cider and vegetables. We then descended on meatballs, ziti and salad while we watched the game and finished playing cards. Now it was time to have the little ones open presents. There was much happiness, and a little grumbling from some adults who ended up with gifts as well...to which I say, "pthbbbbb!" About this time Monie arrived from her soccer game and we fed her.

Cookies appeared, and so did Don's mystery dessert which turned out to be a family recipe for "salami"-cocoa, butter, sugar and tea biscuits. Indescribable yummy.

Once small people were in bed and the game was over we popped in Jack Frost, the horror movie, and subjected Don and Connie to it for the first time. Oh it's terrible, but it's so much fun to see the faces of people who don't know what's coming. Aly, like our own Tiny Tim, once again mused, "Where's the carrot?" to the horror of Don and Connie.

I'll admit to not making it through the movie. Don left about 3/4 of the way through, as it was getting late and he had a long way to go. I leaned into Monie for a moment, then decided it was time to leave. I'd spent the evening without my crutch, so I'd pretty much wiped myself out.

It was a great night, thanks to Lydia and Ralph's generosity and the wonderful company to be had.

Back to Work!

Monday morning Connie picked me up and we headed into the office. The day turned out longer than expected, but again aside from tired all went well. I was happy to be on crutches instead of the walker. Tuesday I took a half day, daring to drive myself to work! It went well and that afternoon Jill came over to help me put away Christmas, then we went to an early dinner.

Wednesday Connie and I were carpooling because the office Christmas party was that night. We got about 2 miles away from my place when the nausia hit. Migraine. I had Connie take me back home. Called the doctor to okay the meds...slept for 4 hours...Doc okayed the meds...slept for 4 hours. Ardia picked me up for dinner (luckily I was feeling better, though getting dressed was difficult because I only had 2 pairs of shoes to work with). I decide to style a little and use my pretty cane with the bunny head. It worked well. We had dinner at the Bluebell Inn then saw Every Christmas Story Ever Told at Act II.

It was a nice evening, but I was happy to get home to bed. Mom called, quizzed me on why I wasn't in bed. She's a good Mom.

Thursday and Friday were pretty normal, but I was able to walk on my own more. Friday Connie was a sweetheart and took me to get pet supplies and the last of the Christmas presents. Poor thing hauled a lot of litter up those steps!

Saturday was the last shopping for supplies for the party on Sunday and then a trip to chez Hoag to do laundry. Then home for some bread baking. Monie stopped over to catch up and gave me an excrusiating, if needed calf massage. I guess feeling is coming back because it hurts!

Update

Okay, so they let me go Monday (December 5) and I was released into Lydia's care. Lydia, Ralph and the kids took very good care of me for the week. Tuesday was the triumph of making my own lunch (spaghettios) and finally getting to wash my hair! It may not sound like much, but it made me feel human again.

By Wednesday I was hobbling around with the walker pretty well and I convinced Lydia to take me to work. It was good to get out and to get through the mountain of paper on my desk! By one I was pretty tired, so Connie took me back to Lydia's. I said hi to Ralph and promptly passed out until around 7.

Thursday I decided to rest and see what damage had been done during the previous day. Happily not much. Lydia was a trouper and took off my bandage...okay that was gross. We put a new one on. Thursday night Ralph and Lydia were going out so I talked Monie into a movie. We saw "For your Consideration"-not so good. When we left the theater it was snowing, if briefly.

Ralph suggested to Lydia that they offer their house for my Christmas party, and I gladly took them up on it. Happily the date change didn't mess anyone up.

I had every intention of going to work on Friday, but the wind was howling and the bed was warm...and I did have a hole in my back...so I decided to stay home. With Lydia spotting me I managed to walk a few steps and moved from the walker to crutches. Saturday Greg and Julia Rose came by and took me grocery shopping. I made my first attempt at the stairs to my apartment and though exhausting, it was doable. We stocked the place for the following week then headed to Jill and Dan's to check on Kitten. Then back to chez Hoag.

Sunday afternoon Ralph, Lydia and the kids moved me back to my place. I realized everything when to hell while I was in the middle of Christmas decorating. I decided to just take down what I'd managed to get up. I tidied up a bit, then Connie and Andy came by for pizza and to make sure I wasn't doing anything stupid. It was a good if tiring day.

Free at last!

Monday night:

They are sending me home! Well, to Lydia's anyway. I've had to push for a walker, as I cannot get around at all without one, but a nice lady just nicked one from a closet for me. I am out of here!

Please Let me Go!

Monday. This morning Megan took over and I got the sad news I may have to stay over again to finish up my antibiotics. She said it looked like they would be done around 5, so she’s pushing for me to be released after that. I hope so! I am soooo bored! I took a hobble around my room in the walker, did a dumb move but managed not to fall and I don’t think I hurt anything. I did get to stand and clean myself up which was so nice. I made a pre-lunch potty run and used the actual potty I am pleased to report, though disturbed by how much of my recovery I am judging my the use of the bathroom.

I called work a little before 9 and spoke with Ardia. She was very positive and I think everything is under control for a few days. Apparently her trainer had heart surgery over the weekend and Ardia is wondering who will be the third to fall down. Connie called around 1 to check on me and it seems Ana’s husband was #3. He got a nosebleed that wouldn’t stop so they too are in the hospital. Too much fun. But it seems work is moving along. Bill was surprised to hear of my hospitalization, but not of how I did it and told Connie how I broke a toe on his steel toed boots before a show. “When she does a thing…” is becoming my motto.

I am still waiting to see if I get to leave tonight. Jill is cleaning the bunnies and the kitty litter…wow I owe her. Lydia is heading to the hospital after a conference at Zoe’s school. Jill called to play me my message, Dr. Resnick’s office called to give me the referral number for my MRI. Just a little behind, that’s all. I’ll give them a jingle tomorrow and fill them in.

A Michael Godwin came by to fit me for my back brace (another fun surprise). He actually had one that fit me. Now I’m just waiting to see if they will outfit me with a walker before I leave. Aly and I are going to put a horn on it!

It’s about 4 PM now, I should have my last infusion in half an hour. Megan, my advocate nurse, is switching floors sadly, but has left word that ortho needs to evaluate me after the infusion and she thinks I should get to go home. In theory a social worker will need to talk to me before I go as well.

Unfortunately I have no news on improvement of my right leg control, though I take the tiring of my foot muscle as a good sign, even though I haven’t gotten it to really move. Baby steps.

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

I woke up around 4. As an aside, at least they didn’t have to bed pan me. I managed to hold onto the dignity of going to the bathroom by myself, but of course couldn’t flush because they had to check it out. Whee! After a potty run and blood pressure I couldn’t get back to sleep. The only person I knew who had back surgery was a guy I almost dated a few months ago, so I lumped it and sent him a text message. Basically just a “Sorry to bother you, but I may be having back surgery tomorrow and I have some questions. If it isn’t too weird could you call my cell when you get this please? Thank you.”

Much to my surprise a sleepy Matt called back around 6:30 and was quite sweet. He told me what he could and asked me to keep him updated. I asked how he was doing and he gave me the standard “Hanging in there” so I told him to be a big brave dog and thanked him.

Shortly after the assistant came back in to talk to me about surgery. Make up your mind! I was on no food or water since midnight so I was at least still prepping. Aggravated I asked my CA Jenn if I could gripe for a moment and told her my frustration. She explained that ortho and neuro had differing opinions about surgery so there was usually a lot of back and forth. That at least explained a little. Then my admitting resident came up to check on me. She didn’t think I’d be having surgery, that Dr. Star would want to wait until Monday for a spinal consult. She said she’d let me have breakfast and popped out.

Jill called to ask if I needed anything and I asked her to bring my laptop over since now it seemed I wasn’t having surgery. Then the resident came back in to say Dr. Star was right down the hall so she’d hold food until he talked to me. While I waited Jill called and I told her now I might be having surgery after all. I was getting dizzy. The nice thing was that the resident really gave Dr. Star high marks, said he was one of the best anywhere and she really liked him. That gave me a better picture, so when he came in I apologized for being grumpy the night before. He didn’t remember grumpy, but I told him he looked tired so maybe that’s how he missed it. We talked about my situation: Improvement since admission but nothing since then. He still wanted me ready for surgery, so no food and I was to work on wiggling my toes. He’d check in on me later and make a final decision.

Jill arrived and I filled her in. Greg also popped in to see how I was. They both stayed as no news came about surgery. At one point a woman from St. Luke’s came in to ask if I wanted the Eucharist. I was starving and really wanted the cracker (mmm…sacrilicious!) but told her I was fasting for surgery and it wasn’t my faith, but thank you. She said she would remember me at mass. Then came housekeeping to wish me luck on my surgery. Did housekeeping know something I didn’t? Nope. Sigh. Nurse Jane came in to ask if I’d heard anything. Nope, just my tummy growling, which was especially funny since Bear-Bear was on it. She was wonderful and really pushed for a decision for me.

After 1 Dr. Star came back in, saw no progress and asked what I thought. I told him I had every confidence in his opinion, but I was thinking surgery. He agreed and said he’d take me down in 10 minutes! I quickly called Ardia to let her know I wouldn’t be in Monday. She told me not to think about work as I tried to fill her in on what was going on Monday. I told her I wanted to, it was better than other topics, then had Jill call Mom to fill her in. She had me yell, “love you, going for surgery” as Dr. Star pushed my bed out of the room. Unusual, eh?

So down I went, my resident was there, which made me very happy. Next thing I know I’m waking up talking about Audrey 4 then trying to explain what I do for a living. Then I mused that it must have gone well because I was craving McDonalds. I was in recovery a while because they didn’t have a lot of transport personnel on Sunday, but made it up to my room at about a 3 hour round trip. Greg was still there but Jill had been replaced by Dan. Greg stayed until I was settle, made calls to say I was okay then headed out. I was a little whoosey, but the pain in my legs and back was gone and I was HUNGRY! Luckily dinner had arrived while I was out.

I called mom to let her know I was okay then started on dinner while Dan and I had some very nice and interesting conversations. Lydia stopped by and relieved Dan then we made plans for my hopeful discharge the next day. I called Chuck to see if he could pick me up, he was happy to and said he and Julia and the baby would stop in for a visit. I let Lydia return to her family and then made some calls while waiting for the next wave of company. Surprised Connie when I called and told her I was out of surgery. We made plans for Lydia to take me to work then Connie would be sweet enough too bring me back to Chez Hoag. Jill is taking care of the kids until Thursday, then it seems like Greg will be taking over if I’m not back to my place by then. When Ralph heard that I wouldn’t be able to drive for two weeks he assumed I’d be with them all that time and was great with it. I am so lucky.

Chuck and Julia, along with Charlotte, arrived around nine and we caught up. They headed out around 10 with a tired baby and I settled in for the night. I took a perkiset just because I was a little stiff and iffy about the incision site, peed before bed meaning no catheter for me! They had to pull out my stent and put in another so they could start my antibiotic infusion (30 minutes every 8 hours). I had a drain in my back which was emptied after I peed. I was so happy to stand without pain. I still can’t really do anything with my right leg, but that will change with time and exercise. The night nurse, Lisa, was awesome. She was so nice, and seemed so happy I was mobile and said I looked really good. She asked if I needed pain meds, and was surprised at my request for half a perkiset. Apparently it’s a little unusual not to want more, but I really feel fine.

Day 1 in the Hospital

I woke up around 8:30 and for the first time felt kinda lonely. I read for a bit, but before I knew it Monie was back. I don't know how she does it. She hung out until Lydia got here (with balloons!) then we made her go back home to bed. On her way out she called everyone under the sun to tell them where I was and Aly called to let me know that anyone who wanted to could always crash at their place for a nap or whatever. Greg came by shortly after and relieved Lydia. We chatted for quite a while and I’m glad he was there when Dr. Star’s assistant came in to get my consent for surgery. This was the first I’d heard about it and Greg was great about asking questions. The guy described the surgery and recovery, got my consent for Sunday and was on his way. Greg and I had a good talk about it and both began to feel it was probably for the best. After Greg left I got a little time to myself but then Jill and Dan came over with Chez Geek.

Now here’s a kick in the butt. Now that it looked like it would be a while before I got back to my apartment I asked Jill to look in on the animals. She was happy to do so, but I thought I’d make her life easier and see if the shelter could board the bunnies. Board, as in I would pay for this service. I left a message and Jill was the only one in the room with me when they called back. I explained that I was having back surgery in the morning, could I have Jill bring the kids over for boarding tomorrow? Well…she was really full with boarders, couldn’t I have someone come in? I said well, I thought it would be good to have them with someone knowledgeable if I was away too long, and it would bring in some more money for her and the Habit but yes, I could just have someone come in. She said she could take one on Monday, but that’s just dumb so I said not to worry, I’d make other arrangements. Then she started coughing and talking about the pneumonia that wouldn’t go away. The rest of the conversation was about how sick she was. Even I was pretty stunned at this, and Jill was just about yelling, “Hang up on her.” No good deed really does go unpunished I guess.

Anyhow, Monie arrived soon after. We’d just got the game explained when Aly came buzzing in with a big Bee Balloon and gave up on the game for chatting. One neat thing is that the nurses don’t seem to mind our blatant disregard for visiting hours, though I'm still convinced they think Monie is my girlfriend. Aly left when Greg called from the mall to say JR needed a diaper and he didn’t have the bag. Jill insisted on being here when I went into surgery ( have I mentioned she's fantastic? I never would have asked, she has so much on her plate, but I can't put into words how glad I was she offered), so I would be seeing her in the morning and she and Dan left shortly after Aly and then Monie and I played scrabble on my tummy.

We were talking when a tired looking Dr. Star came in and said I most likely wasn’t having surgery tomorrow. I was tired and grumpy, had talked myself into the surgery so this was not what I wanted to hear. He left and I started crying again, telling Monie that I was tired, didn’t want to do this and things just weren’t worth it. She gave me a good talking to and I snapped out of it. We chatted until 10 when I kicked her out to go to a party. At some point in the evening I called Connie to let her know I was in the hospital and would keep her posted. Called one of the postponed dates and left him a message saying I was having surgery the next day and then called the other. He was surprised again, then asked if I have a cool scar on my back to scare small children. I just said, “Ah well, bones heal, chicks dig scars.” His reply of “that’s so hot” caught me off guard and I didn’t inquire as to whether he was serious and if so just what was so hot about it. I told him I’d keep him posted. I finally called Mom and Dad to fill them in, much to their surprise. They agreed surgery sounded best. And Mom was so grateful to my friends I think she was about to cry.

So sleepy time for me. Got more perkiset which didn’t do much.

From Bad to Worse

When I woke up Friday morning I had actually slept and was comfortable. I called Ardia from bed and told her I wanted to take another day, but was feeling better. Then I tried to get up.

My right leg was almost useless and the left was weak. Both were in pain. I called the Dr. to see if I should go to the ER but they wanted me to come in for a visit. Somehow I stupidly managed to drive myself there, using the cane to get to the car. Once I headed for the exam room I just broke down. The nurse got me a wheel chair and some tissues and then Dr. Resnick took a look at me. He prescribed steroids, perkiset, an MRI and seeing an orthopedist and said if it got any worse to head to the ER. They wheeled me back to the car where I headed to giant to get the prescriptions filled. The pharmacist was sad to see me. While waiting I made the appointment for the MRI. They couldn’t see me until Thursday and the orthopedist couldn’t see me until the 18th. I’m not sure what part of I can’t walk isn’t an emergency, but there you go. I got home, had some bread and apple sauce since I couldn’t stand to make anything and started my meds. Then I called Aly for some support.

Aly lit into me about doing too much and said she and Greg would be over that night. I said the house was a mess, at which point she told me she’d clean and Greg would do laundry. She offered their spare room and told me I had to suck it up and lean on friends. If it wasn’t for Aly I probably would have stayed stubborn. But I called Lydia and asked if I could stay with her for a bit. She came over, took out my trash, set up the animals, helped me pack and got my laundry. After Ralph commented that if I was that bad why wasn’t I going to the ER we decided he was right. As we left the phone rang. It was Tom. He was calling to see if I wanted to see a movie Sunday, so I told him I was heading to the ER and we’d have to play it b ear. That got a shocked silence. Lydia and I got BK and ate it in the Barnes and Noble parking lot. I called Monie to fill her in. She met us at the ER. When we pulled in the valet asked if I wanted a wheel chair and after I said yes the rest was no waiting.

Steve the ER nurse was great. He tried a bunch of pain meds but nothing even made me groggy so I can only guess how high my adrenalin was. The attending did a rather startling rectal exam then I was turned over to ortho and Lydia left me in Monie’s care. The ortho resident was a great woman whose name I need to get. She sent me for the MRI, which was quite a squeeze but I found that listening to NPR really helped. The Orderly of Doom said he saw the images and I’d be having surgery. Such the optimist. I was returned to Nurse Steve who lobbied for more pain meds for me and gave me a choice of percocet, Toridol or morphine. I asked for a recommendation and he suggested the Toridol and I vaguely remembered having gotten it for a migraine incident so we went with that. Didn’t help unfortunately.

So the lovely ortho resident returned with the news that I had a bulging disc which explained the pain and numbness. Odd thing was it was on the left, but the most pain and weakness was on my right. Ah well, only me. So I was admitted and Monie stayed with me until I got in my room and saw the attending, Dr. Star. He came in around 4 and said that the bulge was a contre coup injury, meaning that it displaced the nerve on the other side of the disk, which explained why my right hip hurt when my left leg went up. He told us that these things can heal themselves and since I was already showing improvement the outlook was pretty good. Monie got me tucked in and left around 5 AM. What a trouper!