Waiting...

I find myself wondering if I should have taken a vacation day today. My mind isn’t here and I’m not busy enough to stay focused. Ah well.


Dad’s surgery is scheduled for 11 AM their time, 1 PM our time. It should take between 1 and 2 hours, then there is the time in recovery, so I don’t expect to hear anything until close to 7 tonight. It’s going to be a long day.

Great Moments in Dieting

So last night after the gym I had to run to Trader Joes for some odds and ends. As I was in the check out line I looked over and of course there was chocolate. Dark chocolate in face. And I caved. I bought a chocolate bar. As I sat in the car trying to figure out something I could cut out of dinner to make up for the calories I was about to eat I had a fantastic revelation: We were having veggie pot pie tonight, and calorically I could have two servings, BUT I hadn’t decided on a mono unsaturated fat to go with it (something good for my heart and cholesterol). Guess what one of my options was? You got it, dark chocolate! So I had half a candy bar, one serving of pot pie and was a very happy camper. Life is good!

A Quick Update from a Busy Mind

The diet goes well, and work has me jumping so my blogging is going to slack off a bit. So far I’ve lost 15 lbs. I head to the doctor on Saturday and hope to have some good news about my blood pressure. We shall see. Too bad it’s bad form to go to the doctor naked…it would save me another pound or 2 on the scale ; )


The only change to report is that I’ve upped my cardio to 45 minutes from 30, 6 days a week. I think I can still say I have more energy than when I started, but we’ve kicked wedding planning into high gear and time seems to be slipping away.

Have I mentioned I’m actually looking forward to the wedding? I don’t mean being married to Frank, because that one should be obvious, but the actual wedding day? I’m not big into crowds and I hate being the center of attention, but this has been so easy and as we make decisions I’m getting more and more excited about seeing the day actually unfold! It isn’t just a ceremony, it isn’t just a party, it’s OUR party to kick off the rest of our lives.

And also in my exciting news, Jill is going to do some modeling for me this weekend and has added some after shoot games to sweeten the pot! Which means I’d better figure out which costumes I’m taking up there, I suppose.

And Sunday we will likely meet with the florist (assuming his son doesn’t have a basketball game). Time to update the big green book of wedding stuff!

Babies, Birds and Weddings

Another weekend down. This was a good one by all accounts, though most in recent memory have been pretty good. Friday was gyming and laundry which left Saturday clear for sleeping in, goofing off and then hanging out with two of Frank’s sisters, 2 of his nephews, John and Mom and Dad Musick. Though Megan was covered in second hand sweet potatoes and Bridget was covered in second hand milk by the end of the night, it was really a great time.


Andrew and Lucas are getting so big! Yes, I finally got to touch Lucas! Mom M. had both boys for a bit so I was able to swoop in and snag a little Lucas time (he was in high demand over the Christmas holiday). Andrew is smiling more and more and has such the personality! I can add another two great babies to the ones I know, which is always awesome.

While Frank and I have no plans to have children I can honestly say I’ve never been completely disgusted by a baby…until this weekend. Lucas had a teething cookie. Not the kind Bridget normally buys I will add. Within seconds he was covered in cookie cement, for these cookies, like rawhide, are not meant to be eaten but gnawed on. It was vile, even Mom was looking a little green. Lucas was happy as a pig in…well, teething cookie.

We stayed until 12:30, which instantly became 1:30 much to my chagrin. Damned daylight savings. Frank and Bridget were well into their cups by that time. As we were saying goodbye in the kitchen John didn’t have quite a strong enough grip on his beer and Bridget helped him christen the floor. The rest of us were just happy we weren’t the ones who did it!

The drive home was as exciting as the drive up, route 70 was still closed due to flooding and my head was pounding, but we made it home by 3. My head was still a mess by 8 so I sadly had to cancel my trainer. I’m a bit disappointed in myself for not making it to the gym on Sunday, but we got a lot done and I think my eyes would have burst had I done dead lifts that morning.

But as I said we got a good bit done on Sunday. We got to the Joseph Ambler Inn and reserved our wedding night suite. Pretty Pretty. We also booked a first floor room for Frank’s parents for the night. It will double as a room for sleepy kids and nursing mothers to have some quiet. After that was groceries then home to make dinner and get ready for another Monday.

Of course, this morning I was reminded of the one reason that I am not completely happy it’s spring. That would be the birds. Don’t get me wrong, birdsong can be beautiful. But this is a lot of different birds that have songs that are truly reminiscent of car alarms. I ended up having dreams about shooting marshmallows at them! In another dream I was Lisa Simpson, horribly conflicted about shooting the damn things but so sleep deprived I couldn’t come up with another solution! Sigh.

Yay and Boo

First the yay: 2 more lbs have bit the dust! Whoo hoo! I’ve been sticking to the diet and hitting the gym so I’m glad to see there is some effect on the scale. I actually had a moment with my trainer this week where I looked in the mirror (man I hate how they make us work out in front of those) and thought, “Hey, I think this is looking better!” This was a nice thing.


The boo would be my crazy downstairs neighbor. Now please keep in mind I’ve just been annoyed for so long that everything she does makes me want to slap her, even if it isn’t warranted. Mostly I think it’s the tone, very whiney and I’m starting to think she expects ME to do something to make her issues better.

Basically, my Friday morning started last night at 11:30. Yesterday was an exhausting day, physically and emotionally. Work was tense because 2 of our lower performing engineers were laid off. I will say I was truly impressed with how it was handled. Our Senior Vice President drove down from Massachusetts that morning just so he could deliver the news personally to the two men and then be here for the rest of the afternoon to reassure us that this was the only cut being made to our part of the organization, to let us know the company was okay and then he made himself available to anyone who had questions. He even checked in with me to make sure I wasn’t spooked since I was new. Like I said, it was handled with a lot of respect and consideration, I was very impressed. But it did make for a quiet day, and I was tired from a late night the night before so by 5 I was ready to drop.

But no! I went to the gym and sweated off cheesecakes past then went home and made dinner and my lunch (which of course I left at home this morning). I dropped into bed around 11 and was asleep when my phone started beeping in the tone I’ve chosen for my downstairs neighbor. I toyed with ignoring it, but figured she’d just knock on the door if I did. So then in that whiney, half crying voice she asked me if I’d turned down the heat. No. Then she tells me she’s been sitting in the basement and the heater keeps cycling on and off but no heat is coming out. I asked if the pilot light was out, she didn’t think so (I thought I smelled gas, but who knows). I cranked up the thermostat, no heat came on so I went back to the phone and said, yup it’s broke.

She then went on about how she was so cold and didn’t want to get sick again. Keep in mind it was 68 upstairs. I listened as she went on about how her electric bill was through the roof and she’d unplugged everything and she couldn’t afford it and maybe it was the heater. I groggily said we had gas heat, but she continued to go on about it and finally I said look, I’m a tenant too. There is nothing I can do about it. She said oh, then said she was going to call our land lord (who is in her 70’s).

This morning my landlady called (I really do like her) to tell me “dingdong” downstairs had called her at midnight to say the heat wasn’t working and asked her to send someone to fix it then. She has the heater technician coming out this morning at 8:30 along with her husband and has told my downstairs neighbor she doesn’t have to give notice to leave.

While we were on the phone my neighbor called and left a message that her CO2 detector was going off and telling her to get out into fresh air. I called her back to let her know I got the message and thank her for it. I told her we’d crack some windows and were leaving for the day. She went on a bit about how the landlady refused to send someone out last night…really? And how she couldn’t get a shower because she had to get out of the apartment. She was still there when Frank and I left for work. Frank has an interview so he’s got the car today, which looks like a good thing. I told him if they do end up saying he should stay out of the apartment for a bit that if he can he should take the ferret and rat with him. I can see them now, sitting at Starbucks using the wi-fi…lol.

The other positive to Frank having the car is that he is being a sweetie and bringing me my lunch after his interview. And I will now resume clinging to my coffee.

When Life Throws You Cookies---DODGE!

This is a diet update and an actual blog! Aren’t you lucky?


The diet hums along. Lunch was something yummy I wouldn’t have thought of: Turkey, lettuce, tomato and pesto on a whole wheat English muffin. Quite good. I’m glad I stuck with it. Allow me to explain.

Yesterday morning there was an emergency meeting that involved just about everyone who was scheduled to be in a product management meeting at the same time, so the PM meeting was pushed back. At 10 AM one of our junior PM guys asks me to bring in lunch for the meeting, I told him I’d do what I could but couldn’t promise it wouldn’t be Chinese. He was good with that. The lovely folks at La Prima catering were awesome and pulled together something on the fly for us. Now, they do this thing where we get a free sandwich for me and I told them that wasn’t necessary, but they did it anyhow.

They sent my usual, a mozzarella-basil-tomato sandwich on marble rye. Very yummy and not bad for you either. But it comes with a fruit salad and a huge, very yummy cookie. I was strong and stuck to what I brought, thinking I’d bring the sandwich with me to Lydia’s if I went, or to the gym for my trainer. But there was this cookie…taunting me. Then Tony came in. He never eats breakfast and I was pretty sure he hadn’t had lunch so I offered him mine. He happily took my temptation away. Success!

And of course during this time I had to kick people out of a conference room they hadn’t reserved and someone else had. Happily the someone who had reserved the room was our Senior Vice President, so there wasn’t much they could say about it, though of course A. did.

She’s rapidly working my nerves. Part of it is attitude. The best way I can describe it is “haughty”. The first interaction was her informing me it was my job to run the dishwasher. Aside from the fact that I hadn’t put anything in the dishwasher so it didn’t occur to me to do, she could have phrased it better instead of sounding like she was talking to the help. But I chalked that up to tone.

The second encounter was when she filled out some paperwork and had it approved by the wrong manager. HR sent it to me so I’d be aware of it and I noticed the error so I checked with HR then sent it to the correct manager, ccing all involved. A. then comes up to my desk questioning that her manager had actually changed, because the paperwork usually takes longer. I told her that was one of the reasons they hired me, so things would go through faster. She then says “So you took it upon yourself to say my paperwork needed to be approved by []?” Dumbfounded, I put on my most neutral tone and innocent face and told her yes, that’s my job. I did relate this in passing to my manager, just so he’d be aware that there was some confusion over the transition (all our project managers are now under the same manager) and he was a bit stunned she asked me that, but liked how I handled it.

The third encounter was when someone left a pill case in one of the conference rooms. I sent out a note saying it was at the front desk if anyone was looking for it. She came up and retrieved it, we chatted about how we both have the “pill stash” and as she walked away she said, “and now everyone knows I do.” I stopped her and pointed out that her name was never mentioned in the e-mail so unless she was telling people there was no reason they would have more info now than they did before.

Yesterday it was the conference room thing. She was an attendee at the meeting that needed to move and she surprised all in the room by not knowing who our SVP was (she questioned why he should get the room). Personally, even if it were the janitor my response would have been “because he reserved it”. As it was our SVP I thought she’d shut up. Nope. She then said since he only had one direct report here (our senior manager) why did he need a whole room? I told her he needed the video equipment. Seriously, my manager has kicked folks out of rooms because I had them reserved, I don’t even want to know how he would have taken it if they challenged this room reservation!

Later I was cleaning up after their lunch and we had extras which go to the kitchen for anyone who wants them. One of the guys was helping me and asked if he could have the veggie sandwich that was left over. I told him to help himself. She of challenged me in a snide way, of course after the sandwich had left the room, saying I hoped I realized I just gave away my boss’ lunch. I smiled and said nope, I already gave him his so that was up for grabs. Not willing to admit defeat she countered with then I’d just given away another of our engineering manager’s lunches. Smiling again, I said nope, she didn’t want it. HA!!!

And this morning it was 5 of 10 and she was outside a conference room being used for a video gathering by our SVP tapping her foot and saying she’d reserved the room at 10. I calmly said it was 5 of and he’s usually good about wrapping up on time. She then tried to bump another meeting out of the conference room across the hall, but they stood their ground. At 9:59 she was telling me to go in and tell them someone had the room reserved and I just looked at her, then said it wasn’t 10 yet. At 10 on the dot the meeting ended and one of her attendees pulled her away.

I guess what bothers me is the sense of entitlement, and she talks down to everyone like she’s the most important thing on the planet. I take consolation in knowing others have an issue too. I’ve overheard some of the managers discussing the issue.

But this is a small wrinkle, amusing in its own way. Like a little game of “You can’t get me riled up and I’m still right”. Hee hee.

And I just learned Jill is going to let me us her as my Barbie Doll this weekend so I can take costume pictures! Whoo hoo!

Day 6

Yesterday was a hungry day. Breakfast was banana nut waffles again, and will be for the next few days both because I like them and because these bananas are living on borrowed time. Lunch was 2 slices of vegetarian pizza courtesy of SeaChange. Once again the planning was key. I knew what my options were and looked over my list to see what fit. It worked out just fine.


The end of my day got a little nutty, as these things will around here, so snack was eaten in the car. Not my preferred bistro, but no fatalities so we’ll call it a success. Snack was an apple and 2 tbsp of peanut butter on 4 rye crackers. You know, 2 tbsp of peanut butter is a LOT! Happily the apple was there to break up the sticky!

The gym was gym-y. 30 minutes on the elliptical then at home I did some floor work. It’s just easier that way since the ferret can run around and I can relieve some cage-guilt.

Dinner was tilapia, green beans and roasted red potato for me, a substitution of Morning Star Ribblets for Frank along with some fries. I stole another fry, not as good as the last one.  Tummy was a little unhappy as I went to bed, I think it was that way after I had the fish the first time.  I'm thinking my tummy doesn't like fish so much.

I did feel a little hungry yesterday, I’m not sure if it was because I was a little more active and burned more calories or what, but I’ll see how today goes.

Days 3-5

Well I can see that the whole journaling/blogging thing in the weekend is going to be a challenge! But, here is the weekend in review:


Friday was pretty normal. Breakfast, lunch and snack at work-loving the MUFA wrap by the way. After work Frank and I met with Jen and Amanda and roughed out the wedding invitations. They are going to get us a sample card in the next few weeks. We then went grocery shopping and once home we made dinner.

Saturday was sleeping in! Whoo hoo! Love that sleeping in! Once my nappiness was sated I got up and made dinner-a Breakfast BLT that was awesome! 2 strips of turkey bacon, muenster cheese, tomato, black olive tapenade and lettuce on a toasted whole wheat English muffin. It was quite a yummy way to start the day.

After that I dragged my laundry to the Laundromat and caught up with my mom and dad. Dad’s having a bunch of heart tests done, but nothing to be alarmed about (so they tell me). When laundry was done I headed to the gym for some quality time on the elliptical, then off to Trader Joes for some produce.

I got home and made lunch, a Dijon turkey wrap, and got sucked into a video game. On tap for Saturday night was seeing Alice in Wonderland (which rocked) and we decided to go out to dinner-Chinese. I admit I over indulged, but this was a set back, not a failure. After looking over the evening I really just need to watch portion control, so that’s my plan for next time.

Sunday I was back on the horse. A breakfast of sprouted cinnamon toast, peanut butter, oj and skim milk (separate glasses of course) and then I was off to the gym. I also picked up a few bins at the dollar store to organize the fridge. I got home, played in the fridge then made lunch-one of those starkist tuna salad pouches in a whole wheat pita with sunflower seeds on the side. After that it was up in the attic with me to work on costumes for The Steampunk World’s Faire. I can proudly say I got the pants done and they are pretty darned cool if I do say so myself. That leaves the ball gown and underbust to alter. Not too shabby.

Dinner was broccoli tofu stirfry. I used young broccoli (looks like broccoli rabe to me), cubed tofu, garlic, sesame oil, soy sauce and green chile then put it all over brown rice. Another winner on the recipe list. Post dinner was curling up on the couch with Frank and zoning out before bed.

All in all, a pretty good weekend. And Alice in Wonderland was FANTASTIC! I want to see it again!

Day 2 of 28-The importance of planning.

Yesterday was another challenge, but in a good way. The day was easy enough, it usually is at work. I had my oatmeal with blue berries and walnuts for breakfast, pasta for lunch and a cut back snack of yogurt and sunflower seeds because I was going out to dinner with Will later.


It was actually a pretty productive day, personally and professionally. I got the office in order and then in my down time made 2 spread sheets: One for meals and one for exercise. My plan is to post the meals in the kitchen and the exercise stuff can stay with my gym clothes. I’d sat down Tuesday night and planned out the rest of the week and found it so nice to just go to the list instead of standing around thinking about stuff at the last minute that I thought this would be worth a try.

Anyhow, Will and I went to From the Boot in Ambler (next to the Ambler Theater). It was nice, got a little noisier and a little busier by 7:30, but not bad at all. I got a side house salad with a vinaigrette dressing and their margharita chicken. Beware it comes with linguini and sauce on the side, had I realized this I would have told them to skip it instead of waste it. After dinner Will had tea and I had coffee. We headed back to the apartment where we met up with Frank for some chatting before Will got on the road home.

After he left I crunched the numbers and yes! I came in just under 1600 calories! Oh the triumph! When I sat down to journal my day the question to contemplate was “What 4 things will help you stay on track?” I put down these:

1. Keeping my enthusiasm up

2. Frank’s support

3. Keeping a positive attitude even when there are set backs

…and I couldn’t think of a 4th until I thought about my day. Planning really is one of the most important things you can do to stay on track. I knew I was going to dinner so I looked up the restaurant’s menu and found something that sounded like it would fit well with my diet: Chicken, tomatoes, broccoli, garlic and mozzarella. I scaled back my snack to give me more caloric wiggle room with dinner. All I needed to do was go in with a plan and stick to it, and it really wasn’t hard. Now, I didn’t eat all the chicken (there were 2 portions, so I stopped at one) but everything else fit well within the foods I should be eating. So…

4. Planning

I have to tell you, I’m actually having fun with this. Oh and the math! But that is a story for another post…

Day 1 of 28

So now I begin day 1 of a 28 day regimen which will hopefully be a lifelong lifestyle change.  Having already done a week of this before I'll tell you what I like:

• I like the planning it makes me do.  I need to sit down and think about what I'm going to eat for the week to come.  This makes grocery shopping easier too.  And if I've planned what I'm eating when it saves a lot of staring into the fridge going "what should I pack for lunch?"
• I like that some of the things I was eating before are actually meals on this diet, just without the bread and with a specific portion size.  It makes this feel like less of a change.
• I like the exercise schedule.  There is something to be said for regularity and knowing what you should be doing on what day.  Much like the fridge, it cuts down on standing around at the gym going, "what now?"
• Also with the exercise I'm finding I was doing the right things, I just need to focus a little more and make a few tweeks.  And the sassy water is great at the gym!
• I like the questions to answer in the journal pages.  It gives me something to write about other than am I hungry, what did I eat and how do I feel.
• And I like the food.  There aren't a lot of odd foods you've never heard of.  It's stuff you know you should be eating but either you weren't or you didn't know what to do with it when you got it.

That said, yesterday I was reunited with my banana nut waffle and my morning coffee, although I completely forgot about the coffee until after noon!  Lunch was a  Mediterranean wrap (lettuce, tomato, turkey, olive tapenade, onion) and raisins.  My snack was an apple and a wrap with 2 tbsp of peanut butter, but half the apple ended up in the trash due to a 3 PM meeting that I thought was canceled suddenly forming at my desk at 4:30.  Bummer on the apple, but I decided that it gave me some caloric wiggle room for a beer with dinner which was quite nice. 

After work, which I left 30 minutes later than usual, I talked to my trainer and rescheduled my appointment because there was no way I was going to make it on time.  I toyed with the idea of skipping the gym-I was tired, keyed up-but hey, I needed to work out the kinks of the day!  So 30 minutes on the treadmill and some core exercises from the book and I was on my way home by 7.

I got in, let Tasha out of her cage and watched her bounce around for a minute then cleaned up the kitchen and prepped sassy water for the next day.  Frank got home and I started dinner, nothing fancy just whole grain pasta with sauce, meatless meatballs and a little extra olive oil (and garlic bread for Frank)-and we caught up on each other's days while it cooked. We settled in on the couch to watch Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.

After the movie I cleaned up and made lunch for today, then took a little more time to play with the ferret before heading to bed, happy and relaxed. 

Day 4

I can almost smell the coffee!  Actually it isn't that bad.  But the big news is that in 2 weeks I've lost 10 lbs.  Yes it's mostly water, but still I'm pretty jazzed about it.  It's the same rush I had the first 2 weeks of Weight Watchers, but this one's gonna stick.  Anyhow, on to day 4:  Last day of jumpstart!

Breakfast was cornflakes and skim milk with sunflower seeds.  My boss was still out so a lot of the things on my plate were pushed off another day.

Lunch was turkey with string cheese and grape tomatoes.  It does make a yummy lunch actually.  There was some chaos after lunch with an impromtu meeting taking on a life of its own and sucking other people into it, but all in all I learned the next step I needed to take in a process so all good.

Snack was frozen papaya chunks in milk, a non-blended smoothie.  Yeah, that didn't work either so happily since it is the last day I won't have to try to figure out how to do this. 

After the gym was a work out with Connie.  Catching up and burning off!

Dinner was chicken, green beans and potatoes for me; masala burgers, fries and green beans for Frank.  Then clean up, prep for Wednesday and settling down to catch up on paper work at home.  I have to say I'm enjoying having more energy and not just zoning on the couch in the evening.  I feel like I'm actually getting stuff done.

Tomorrow:  COFFEE!!!!!

Dear Lord

Yes, another rant.  I'm starting to think people really are getting dumber.  Last night I heard a story of a really befuddling jewel heist in the city. A man, woman and 4 year old child walk into the store and rob it. They run out of the store, the woman going one way and the man and child going another. The store owner pursues the man and child. As he catches up the man turns, cuts the owners throat and runs away, leaving the child behind with the body. The police catch up, take the boy into protective custody where he is able to identify his parents and they are arrest shortly after.


I have the same questions as the stunned police officer who was interviewed:

1) Why on earth would you take your child to a robbery?

2) How could any parent just leave a child behind?

When Frank and I were talking about it last night I made jokes about how expensive babysitters were, and they could have just left the kid in the car…oh wait, no car. He then pointed out the improbability of robbing a jewelry store without a car.

What the hell are people thinking? Or perhaps this was just an impulse felony…sigh

Day 3

Well so far so good. Day three was the first day doing this at work. Of course being Monday it was also a day we brought in lunch. Yes, I managed to not succumb to the call of Boston Market. I did bring leftovers home for Frank though.


My plan for the morning was rushed a bit as I forgot I needed to pick up a condolence card for one of my coworkers. This being the case, breakfast happened at work. Cup of cornflakes, cup of skim milk, quarter cup of sunflower seeds and SW.

It was an interesting day. I found out from an overly loud conference call that my boss wouldn’t be in today. I really need to try to get him to send me a note when he’s not going to be in the office. We’ll see how that goes over. There was some tail chasing, a lot of explaining, and the delivery of a ball gown for The Steampunk World’s Faire. Whoo hoo!

Lunch was tuna, sunflower seeds and steamed carrots, with SW to wash it down. This was pretty much the least exciting meal so far. Around 4 I found out the hard way that you can’t make a smoothie ahead of time. Yuck. I had a piece of cornbread instead. Not a great substitute, but no one’s perfect.

I worked on some inventory stuff and soon it was time to go. I headed to the gym for some cardio with Connie then home where I met up with Monie and we did some grocery shopping. We stopped at BK before hand to get Monie some dinner and I managed to not steal a fry. The shopping and dinner was great catch up time, but we both agree we need an actual outing soon. Probably the end of the month.

Once home Frank warmed up some mac and cheese, and some mashed potatoes while I sautéed some mushrooms, heated some brown rice and grilled some chicken. I have to say I really enjoyed the mushrooms. And Frank loved the smell of the Mrs. Dash. I wonder how it works on tofu?

We sat down for dinner and caught up a bit on each other’s days and then he had some things to finish and I had dishes and sassy water to make. I had a burst of energy to I tidied the kitchen, organized the freezer and the fridge and then it was time for bed. The TV was never turned on last night, which is pretty cool.

The only down side was waking up at 1 AM with abdominal cramps. As I sat in the bathroom wondering if I was going to throw up too I realized it was quite possible I’d caught the same thing that has had Frank’s tummy upset for 3 days. It was not fun, but at least I was home. I felt fine this morning so whatever it was, it passed (pun intended).

Tomorrow: One more day until coffee!

GO TO THE POLICE

Another rant, I'm full of them today!  I spent a lot of time yelling at my radio recently. 

NPR has been doing a series on campus safety, specifically the instance of rape on campus.  The stories are sad, frustrating and scary for the most part.  Women who are asleep in there rooms and someone comes in and violates them.  Women who are drunk at parties and unable to fight off attackers but clearly saying no.  One interview broke my heart.  The girl had been really drunk at a party and two male friends were nice enough to walk her home, then took turns raping her.  She couldn't believe it happened, tried to convince herself it was a misunderstanding and the year went by.  It wasn't until a professor was discussing the use of rape to torture women in war torn countries, and took a moment to talk about date rape and say there were people on campus who wanted to know and would help, that this girl finally admitted she was raped.  She went to the dean and they confronted the guys, but so much time had passed that it became he said/she said and nothing happened.  The girl went on to file for a Title 9 hearing (equality on campus) but that fell flat.

Another story was a girl who came home from a party, crashed on her bed and was raped by someone in her dorm.  She told the college, they had a hearing in which the guy and his father called her a slut who was just regretting a one night stand.  The guy cried and admitted he had a drinking problem, the school thought this was a "teachable moment" and suspended him for a semester, later expanded to a year.  The girl went to the board of education and sued for a Title 9 hearing, they went over the evidence and decided the school acted correctly.

Rape is wrong.  I don't care who was drunk, how much time has passed or what the situation is.  Once one party says no or falls unconscious it's no longer concentual.  Period.  If you are that worked up, man or woman, go into the bathroom and take care of your own needs.  People don't report rapes because they are embarrassed, they think they lead someone on, they know how hard the process is and they worry about what others will think or say.  And those are just a few of the obsticals to people reporting a rape.

But what I want to know is why weren't the police involved?  Why weren't charges brought against these men? 

In the first case I can sort of understand it.  The rape was reported after almost a year.  The woman herself had been trying to convince herself it didn't happen.  The men were friends.  There is a lot to work through there before a person is strong enough to be public about it.  In her retelling she was hesitant, crying, embarrassed and just seemed so fragil.  I don't know if the police would have been able to make charges stick, not that it makes it okay.  And to me it seemed that her parents pushed the issue to the board of education, again I'm not sure if court would have done more damage to her.

But the second woman was screaming from the hill tops that she'd been raped and by whom.  She was angry and wanted justice.  She wanted the man to expelled from school so she wouldn't have to live on campus knowing she could run into him.  She reported the incident to the school when it happened.  Why weren't the police involved?  Why didn't the school bring them in?  And if they didn't bring in the police, why didn't she report it herself?  I realize how hard it is to come forward, but she's been so vocal I don't understand why she wouldn't want this creep in jail.

As always, I just have part of the story.  I just got mad because the second woman was so indignant that nothing was being done, but never once mentioned filing charges.  I understand her anger, but I think if you are willing to go this public, willing to sue the university, you should be willing to file charges so the same thing doesn't happen to someone else.  And to take back some of that power someone stole in the dark.

Parenting Rant

First, I don't have kids.  This is based soley on the parents I know and how my parents were with me.

As you may or may not have heard there is a pediatrician in Delaware who has been arrested for molesting over 100 children in the past 10 or so years who were brought into his practice for examinations.  This is beyond horrible and I think he should be torn apart by wolves.  And nothing I'm about to write is meant to blame the parents, it's just something I don't understand.

How did he get the opportunity to be alone with these children who are under 10 years old?  I can't imagine a child going to the doctor alone.  My mother always stayed with me when I had a doctor's visit because a) the doctor is scary and I wanted my mommy and b) she needed to know what he said!  She goes with my dad to his visits so they have 2 sets of ears listening to what the doctor has to say!  What a reason could be given for a parent to leave an examination?  The only thing I can come up with is perhaps the doctor suspects abuse and in that case then a nurse should be present.  In fact, I thought that was standard practice for a while.

Seriously, even when I was a freshman in college and I had to go to the health center because my eye swelled shut I insisted the nurse stay in the room with the doctor and me.  The doctor was not happy with this, but had no choice but to let her stay.  And you know what?  That doctor was removed from campus shortly after because he'd been touching female students inappropriately!  I didn't know that, but I did know that I wasn't comfortable being alone with him, so I spoke up. 

I just can't imagine a parent leaving a child alone in an examination. This makes me wonder exactly how he got the children away from the parents. And I can believe one or two clueless parents, but 100? But then there is a lot about this that I can't understand, and obviously bug me.  And make me want to vomit.

Day 2

I survived the fish!  And Lydia was very right in her description of tilapia as being a very mild fish, but more on that later.

Sunday was a rather lazy day in that I stayed in my jammies, but I did manage to clean the apartment pretty well so not as lazy as it could have been.  Breakfast was a bowl of unsweetened cornflakes, a cup of skim milk, 1/4 cup of sunflower seeds and unsweetened pear sauce (I subsitiuted for applesauce just for something different).

I puttered around the house and soon it was time for lunch.  Another 4 oz of deli turkey, string cheese and a pint of grape tomatoes. Rather yummy again. I have to admit that I’m feeling pretty good about the balance of this diet. Instead of my smoothie for a snack I had a tortilla, a little carb breakdown on my part.


Dinner was the challenge. Not only do I not like fish generally, I’ve never cooked it so I was off to the internet for a recipe. I ended up coating the tilapia in Mrs. Dash Italian blend and frying it in a tbsp of olive oil. It didn’t smell at all fishy when it cooked and it went smoothly. I also roasted a red potato (with more Mrs. Dash, how I love that woman!) and steamed some green beans. Once all was cooked I stared at my plate a bit, poked the fish, ate some beans, poked the fish, ate some potato, poked the fish…while Frank looked on and did his best not to laugh. He was having veggie pot pie, just so you know I’m not starving the vegetarian.

I finally took a little bite of the fish, and it tasted like warm Mrs. Dash! Yay! It was actually pretty good, nothing that will ever go on my favorites list, but not something I will be afraid of in the future. If nothing else this diet is getting me to explore foods I normally would avoid. I still hate squash though.

And I’m much less puffy, yay!

Tomorrow: Avoiding Boston Market and day 3 without coffee!