Dear Lord

Yes, another rant.  I'm starting to think people really are getting dumber.  Last night I heard a story of a really befuddling jewel heist in the city. A man, woman and 4 year old child walk into the store and rob it. They run out of the store, the woman going one way and the man and child going another. The store owner pursues the man and child. As he catches up the man turns, cuts the owners throat and runs away, leaving the child behind with the body. The police catch up, take the boy into protective custody where he is able to identify his parents and they are arrest shortly after.


I have the same questions as the stunned police officer who was interviewed:

1) Why on earth would you take your child to a robbery?

2) How could any parent just leave a child behind?

When Frank and I were talking about it last night I made jokes about how expensive babysitters were, and they could have just left the kid in the car…oh wait, no car. He then pointed out the improbability of robbing a jewelry store without a car.

What the hell are people thinking? Or perhaps this was just an impulse felony…sigh

GO TO THE POLICE

Another rant, I'm full of them today!  I spent a lot of time yelling at my radio recently. 

NPR has been doing a series on campus safety, specifically the instance of rape on campus.  The stories are sad, frustrating and scary for the most part.  Women who are asleep in there rooms and someone comes in and violates them.  Women who are drunk at parties and unable to fight off attackers but clearly saying no.  One interview broke my heart.  The girl had been really drunk at a party and two male friends were nice enough to walk her home, then took turns raping her.  She couldn't believe it happened, tried to convince herself it was a misunderstanding and the year went by.  It wasn't until a professor was discussing the use of rape to torture women in war torn countries, and took a moment to talk about date rape and say there were people on campus who wanted to know and would help, that this girl finally admitted she was raped.  She went to the dean and they confronted the guys, but so much time had passed that it became he said/she said and nothing happened.  The girl went on to file for a Title 9 hearing (equality on campus) but that fell flat.

Another story was a girl who came home from a party, crashed on her bed and was raped by someone in her dorm.  She told the college, they had a hearing in which the guy and his father called her a slut who was just regretting a one night stand.  The guy cried and admitted he had a drinking problem, the school thought this was a "teachable moment" and suspended him for a semester, later expanded to a year.  The girl went to the board of education and sued for a Title 9 hearing, they went over the evidence and decided the school acted correctly.

Rape is wrong.  I don't care who was drunk, how much time has passed or what the situation is.  Once one party says no or falls unconscious it's no longer concentual.  Period.  If you are that worked up, man or woman, go into the bathroom and take care of your own needs.  People don't report rapes because they are embarrassed, they think they lead someone on, they know how hard the process is and they worry about what others will think or say.  And those are just a few of the obsticals to people reporting a rape.

But what I want to know is why weren't the police involved?  Why weren't charges brought against these men? 

In the first case I can sort of understand it.  The rape was reported after almost a year.  The woman herself had been trying to convince herself it didn't happen.  The men were friends.  There is a lot to work through there before a person is strong enough to be public about it.  In her retelling she was hesitant, crying, embarrassed and just seemed so fragil.  I don't know if the police would have been able to make charges stick, not that it makes it okay.  And to me it seemed that her parents pushed the issue to the board of education, again I'm not sure if court would have done more damage to her.

But the second woman was screaming from the hill tops that she'd been raped and by whom.  She was angry and wanted justice.  She wanted the man to expelled from school so she wouldn't have to live on campus knowing she could run into him.  She reported the incident to the school when it happened.  Why weren't the police involved?  Why didn't the school bring them in?  And if they didn't bring in the police, why didn't she report it herself?  I realize how hard it is to come forward, but she's been so vocal I don't understand why she wouldn't want this creep in jail.

As always, I just have part of the story.  I just got mad because the second woman was so indignant that nothing was being done, but never once mentioned filing charges.  I understand her anger, but I think if you are willing to go this public, willing to sue the university, you should be willing to file charges so the same thing doesn't happen to someone else.  And to take back some of that power someone stole in the dark.

Parenting Rant

First, I don't have kids.  This is based soley on the parents I know and how my parents were with me.

As you may or may not have heard there is a pediatrician in Delaware who has been arrested for molesting over 100 children in the past 10 or so years who were brought into his practice for examinations.  This is beyond horrible and I think he should be torn apart by wolves.  And nothing I'm about to write is meant to blame the parents, it's just something I don't understand.

How did he get the opportunity to be alone with these children who are under 10 years old?  I can't imagine a child going to the doctor alone.  My mother always stayed with me when I had a doctor's visit because a) the doctor is scary and I wanted my mommy and b) she needed to know what he said!  She goes with my dad to his visits so they have 2 sets of ears listening to what the doctor has to say!  What a reason could be given for a parent to leave an examination?  The only thing I can come up with is perhaps the doctor suspects abuse and in that case then a nurse should be present.  In fact, I thought that was standard practice for a while.

Seriously, even when I was a freshman in college and I had to go to the health center because my eye swelled shut I insisted the nurse stay in the room with the doctor and me.  The doctor was not happy with this, but had no choice but to let her stay.  And you know what?  That doctor was removed from campus shortly after because he'd been touching female students inappropriately!  I didn't know that, but I did know that I wasn't comfortable being alone with him, so I spoke up. 

I just can't imagine a parent leaving a child alone in an examination. This makes me wonder exactly how he got the children away from the parents. And I can believe one or two clueless parents, but 100? But then there is a lot about this that I can't understand, and obviously bug me.  And make me want to vomit.

Ignorance

Yes it's time for another Monday Rant!

I have an acquaintance who has in the past gone head to head with me about his language. No, not cursing, but racial stereotypes and ugly names (the N-word mostly). He knows I won't put up with it, won't be silent about how ignorant I think it is, so what happened today really shouldn't come as a surprise to him, but somehow I bet it did. And yes, I got ugly right back...though this time I didn't call him a "cracker".

What happened? Well he IM'd me this morning with how to celebrate the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday: "Join the KKK, eat watermelon and fried chicken." Now a word about free speech.

We are guaranteed the right to free speech, and I in no way want to limit that. We have a right to express our opinions. While I feel "hate speech" is a bit of a different animal and should be eliminated, I think education, not legislation is the way to do that. But here we have a conundrum. What if the "hate speech" isn't actually the speakers opinion? What if he is just rattling off this ignorance in a poor attempt at humor? Should it still be protected, or is it like yelling "fire" in a crowded theater when there is no fire? As another friend pointed out, had this guy said this in Harlem chances are he wouldn't have been able to say anything else for quite a while. He would have taken the beating for words he didn't own. According to the antagonist of this story he doesn't truly believe what he's saying, he's just joking around. But back to our story...

So I wasn't particularly mature when I called him an ass for his comment. His reply? "Yeah, but you laughed." No, no I didn't. It wasn't funny and I don't put up with that crap. This is when he decided to be foolish. He asked why MLK got a holiday but John Lennon and Ronald Regan didn't.

Lennon fans are about to be insulted, just be prepared.

I told him Lennon was a musician, whoopee. And Regan gave us trickle down economics, which worked out so well. I didn't see the need for a day. Besides, if we are giving holidays for assassinations Regan didn't die from his wound.

His come back was that "all MLK did as get shot and now we have welfare... and you're paying for it." Then he signed off. This was the wrong move.

There is a very short list of things that really set me off. Bigotry is at the top of it. I think too many people just cluck their tongues and shake their heads when someone spouts this ugliness. Sure, they think it's wrong but they don't say anything. Why not? Free speech gives them a right to voice their opinions as well. And silent disapproval is encouragement in a way. Various sources can tell people from on high that we are all equal and bigotry is wrong...blah blah blah. But when young eyes see it go uncorrected by people who are right in front of them, people they respect, well that sends a message. So when I say education, I mean more than just school and church. Everyone who thinks this bigotry is wrong has a right to say as much when confronted with it. And that would be an excellent example, don't you think? After all, if hate is learned in the home, can't tolerance be?

So that is why I can't and won't listen to comments like this guy's silently. Why I will always say that it isn't okay, it isn't funny. And since he really managed to piss me off I sent him an e-mail:

I say again...You are an ass.

And seeing as you may someday need to be on the welfare rolls I'd think you wouldn't be so snotty about it. And yes, I do pay into welfare, because I have a job. A job which pays my rent, my car upkeep, contributes to social security, pays my health benefits and all the other things I need and enjoy.

You know how I feel about racial comments like that, so you shouldn't be surprised at my reaction. They aren't funny, you aren't witty and I have no time for it.

Just to clarify, he is 32, has no car, no job and lives illegally with his parents in a retirement home. For anyone who thinks my comments were a low blow, maybe they were, but I think sometimes a reality check is necessary. I doubt I'll hear from him again, and if I do I seriously doubt I'll read it.

Happy MLK Day.